The valentines day pitch.

I have recently been algorythm-ed on my socials and somehow find myself listening to clips from a radio show ‘called Brooke and Jubel in the morning’. It’s a breakfast radio show on a station in the US.

The segment is called ‘the second date update’ and the premise is basically this:

Two people go on a date and one of them thinks it went great, but the other one fails to return calls the next day and without any feedback the first one calls the radio show and asks them to make a call to find out what went wrong or just…why?

Remind you of anything?

Ah yes, the lovely pitch process we all enjoy so much.

Remember that amazing deck you presented that had groundbreaking work and the clients all thanked you so much for all the hard work, with tears of joy in their eyes?

Then, oops – guess who came a close second?

Then, to rub salt in the wound, the work comes out and you’re like, what the fuck? they went with that?

On the radio show, people are genuinely shocked as to why the second date didn’t happen. This is where the show gets juicy.

Reasons range from the woman, instead of ‘excusing herself to the powder room’ or something similarly demur, stating that she had to go and lay out a ‘dirt snake’. And when she came back made some reference to ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’.

A dirt snake.

Ew.

(But also, Lol.)

This, unsurprisingly, turned her young suitor’s stomach. But she thought it was funny! ok, well maybe not the match they thought it was.

Another couple who had been friends for a while, hooked up and after the ‘deed’ was done, lying by her side in a post-coital afterglow, he announced that he’s always fancied her mother and now he knew what that would have been like.

Double ew.

I’ll admit it, they are absolutely addictive stories. Because people are so different and who doesn’t like a a love story? or the opposite in most cases. And the kicker is the person who rang the show is always secretly on the line to hear the reason, and often that backfires spectacularly.

Likewise, some agencies and clients are just not meant for each other but we still do the courtship dance in the hope of a relationship.

But in some ways it’s good that they hated the work, or you were too expensive.

Now you never have to work with them and bang your head against a brick wall or become an abused agency until you finally agree to do the campaign how they want it.

So basically, if they’re not calling you or the team ‘hasn’t had time to regroup’, or they’re ‘making some team changes’ you know they’re definitely talking to someone.

If only there was a radio show that could phone up the client the day after the pitch and you could listen in as to why it went horribly wrong, from either side.

I’m sure the horror stories would be just as fascinating.